Beef Eating Walk cycle testing will be the death of me.

Okay, yeah, I know that’s a dramatic title, but animating with Beefy is so hard, his poor little legs are too short, and his back is too long. Which in hindsight is the same affliction as my family, we all have short legs and a long back. I’ve decided I’m happy enough with him as he is and its time to move on to the next character.

What is my animation going to be about anyway?

Every time someone asks me, “What’s your Masters about?” it changes. And at first, I was worried that this was a bad thing. now I see that it’s actually a good thing. This most recent update to this was this morning when I was asked and I really liked the answer I gave.

An animated investigation into the generational Romany ethnic identity of my family. 

It feels more in line with what I am trying to research and say with my work.

This means I will need to interview my Dad again because I want to look further into the reasons why my parents moved to New Zealand. I would also like to talk to my siblings, and also to my own children to see how our relationship with our ethnicity has changed over these three generations.

Rubbish Dump Gypsy: Animatic

I made this a separate post because while the look and feel of my characters are linked to the process of creating an animatic, it was important that this part of the creative process is held slightly apart (and so I can find it!)

What do I want to say?

When I was growing up I was told you are a gypsy I was labelled a gypsy not through some choice of lifestyle not because of some stereotyped bohemian notion of what a gypsy is but because through a right of first I was gypsy the same way my father was a gypsy and my grandparents and my ancestors before him and it didn’t matter that I lived in a house and had only moved twice before I turned 14 and I’m still a gypsy despite having moved 18 times and 19 subsequent years I was a gypsy because my family were gypsies through birthright just made me think how far back did we call ourselves At which point did we start using a word that was initially intended as a slur for our own people for a population that has travelled so far and spread so wide which point did we start using this word that was initially created as an insult how’s this word contributed somehow to the way we are treated the way we are perceived how come some people view the word gypsy with romanticism and think that we live free spirited lifestyles that we’re free and easy and we could just travel where ever we want it this way but I think it’s obviously didn’t realise or have any understanding or knowledge of just how hard the life the Romani population actually had.
Reflection on my Ethnicity

After speaking with my supervisor Greg I really decided to lean into the creative process, and trust that the result would lead me in the right direction. by breaking my animated documentary down into segments I am able to dive right in, without becoming bogged down in the bigger picture, or what the whole piece might look like. I made myself the starting point, and over the course of a month I wrote down all the thoughts and feelings I had surrounding my research and my own identity as a Romany New Zealander. To the left of his paragraph is taken from musing I noted on my phone.


As well as more polished pieces that I saved to my online journal:

I used to think that only time and money separated me from England; the money for a plane ticket, and the time it took to fly there. In the wake of a global pandemic, I am discovering a complex and multi-sourced cause. A virus has stopped us in our tracks, caused borders to close, and government-issued orders to stay within your home. This virus has cut off our legs and prevents us from engaging with our neighbours, our friends, and distressingly, our extended family. This virus has caused many of us to reframe our perception of our world. Its taught us that the earth we live on is both smaller than we can imagine, and yet we are more separated than we ever have been.

The internet, this invisible highway, connects us in a way our ancestors could never comprehend. It’s been a tool that has reconnected us to the family we left behind. It has created a lens in which I can see the difference between the life we had there, and the way we live now. (A gilded cage, is still a cage) When my fathers family were corralled into a sedentary lifestyle, removed from their homes on wheels and funnelled into a housing estate, ‘for their own good’ he said it was like they had their legs cut off.

Any time we have our way of life removed from us, it causes feelings of resentment and anger. These feelings don’t go away overnight, they take generations to dissipate, and even then they leave us with this remnant of inherited trauma. When you belong to a race that has a longevity of the status ‘most discriminated’ ethnicity, it results in a lot to sort through.

All Romany are Rom, but not all Rom are Romany. Not all Romany are travellers; not all travellers are Romany. Sometimes I feel like I have to shoulder the responsibility of speaking on behalf of my entire race, which is ridiculous as it sounds. How can I speak for people I feel I am not a part? How much of this discrimination applies to me? How much of the negative media attention that being Gypsy garners causes me to suffer?

The short answer, as it applies to me right now is: It doesn’t; unless I open my mouth and tell people my heritage. The people who hear this are carrying around preconceived notions of what a Gypsy is.
There are plenty of self-styled activists who claim to have our best interests at heart, and scream at the injustice, and start petitions and tell people who aren’t Us they can’t use the word Gypsy, that it’s a slur, which in a way I guess it was/is. And some of these people are Romany, or Rom, or traveller, and some are not. Some have only just rediscovered a link. And some of them I agree with, and others cause me to roll my eyes, but the one thing I can agree with is that no one should say anything without us.

But that term ‘us’ isn’t big enough to quantify our divisiveness, and not adequate to encompass the issues of each branch. It’s like we need a made-up word like Google, with infinity pages of o’s to contain the voices of us all, a people spread across the world, in places as unlikely to travel as this virus that has swept humankind.

Creative Vision

After recording myself, and re-recording myself, I just couldn’t crack it. Although I knew the truthfulness of my message, I still felt it lacked authenticity. It was during this phase that I recalled the audio I took when my Dad wanted me to ghostwrite his autobiography (which is something I keep promising him I’ll come back too)  So I listened to this again, really listened. The first thing that stood out to me was how annoying I was, I kept interrupting him and trying to lead him in a direction I thought would be good for a book, and because of this, I think I really missed valuable stuff.

I narrowed my vision down to focus on a part that I felt really spoke to the research I have been conducting surrounding the English governments forced sedentary action they took against the travellers. The following extract sent shivers down my spine, and I knew I had found my lynchpin.

“They moved us all into ex army barracks, which was Eeiry Camp, it was actually an old prisoner of war camp and still had all the old dungeons, and what they done was turn it into a dump. It was a massive great big dump that they were land filling, to be able to build on. So, while they were doing that, now you imagine, dump trucks coming tipping rubbish everywhere, and then they put us gypsies there (pause) next to a dump. (pause) and when I look back on it now, it was bloody disgusting.”

Setting the scene

Burning Vardo
Burning Vardo

The camp is murky, dark, black, the travellers have brighter clothes (but close to what they would have been wearing, not stereotype like the figure on the left. It’s 44 seconds, so it navigates some of the camp, showing how awful it was until you get the centre, where an old vardo is burning. My original intent was to portray a part of the story my dad told me of the last proper burial right, where a deceased Elder’s body is burned within their Vardo. Dad has a vivid memory of this happening when he was a child, but when I showed my Aunt, my first mood board, for animation she said seeing the vardo on fire sent shivers down her spine, as this is something the Gorger (non-traveller) would do to their homes in order to make them leave.

On reflection, this duality of meaning is a good thing, ensuring that the viewer reads into it something personal, with the hope that they take away something that stays with them.

Mood Board

My initial mood board was created before I had a solid plan in my head for what this sequence would look like, and the image in the centre is the one that resonated with my Aunt. I choose a blue, smokey ambience, offset with the orange and red glow of fire. I knew I wanted a backdrop of a rubbish dump, with a camp, sprung up around this, but I still needed to keep in mind that they were placed at a site that used to be a detention centre for Canadian prisoners.

From the few photos I had seen, and the description from my Dad a picture started to form in my head, one vastly different from the usual family stopping places. I still want to create my animation using 3D animation, but it is vitally important that I veer the visual aspects towards a tactile and textured landscape.

Due to my desire to create my own characters, I have begun to research children’s toys, and particular ways toys have been animated. Not the crips feel of Pixar’s Toy Story, or Warner Animation Group’s Lego Movies, I desire my animation to have a darker feel, more in the vision of the Quay Brothers, Henry Selick Coraline and the Czech film by Jirí Barta and  Vivian Schilling Toys in the Attic.

Mood board v2
Mood board v2

A major theme that links these animations is stop motion, I think I am drawn to stop motion because of the strong link between the animator, and medium. That and its textuality. Creating my own characters allows me greater creative freedom to sculpt a cast best reflects the message I am trying to portray. As my sequences develop, so will perhaps my characters, giving them a mouth, and a voice of their own.


Rubbish Dump Gypsy is what I am naming my first sequence, I felt this a good reflection of the subtext, linking it to many people’s thoughts that Travellers are somehow dirty (which is an incorrect assumption). This is the first iteration of the animatic, my next step is to develop a more detailed storyboard, alongside working on the creating characters. 

Research New Direction

I labelled this ‘new direction’, which is a little misleading because I am not taking my research in a new direction per say, just redefining what it is I am focusing on, and the best animation aesthetic to achieve this.

My heart has stayed with 3D since I first discovered it, way back two decades ago, and this is a thing that hasn’t changed. But the sharp focus of modern 3D characters didn’t feel authentic, or able to resonate with the message I want my animated documentary to achieve.

After spending what felt like weeks considering what voice I wanted to use, and what story I wanted to tell I finally recalled an audio recording I made of my Dad a few years back when he asked me to ghostwrite his autobiography. It was in this audio I found the thread to pull for my first animated sequence.

To start, I narrowed down the 30 minutes recording, highlighting one segment that I felt really illustrated how my father truly felt about his family being forced into a sedentary lifestyle.

Scientific Racism: Catalyst of a sedentary lifestyle

Dora Yates Scientific Racism
Acton, 2016

I have found academic writing that comments on the Hampshire councils stance on travellers in the 1960s, and how they used ‘scientific racism’ in academia to support their opinion that Gypsy’s should not be allowed to continue living a nomadic lifestyle and that this way of life was damaging somehow to the youth in the camps. Writings by a woman named Dora Yates conducted what she felt to be adequate research by going amongst the Travellers on the New Forrest and judging for herself that the pupils of the local school were not of Romany blood.

This study directly affected my family, and their way of life. While this essay touched on what happened to the Travellers, citing their forced move to the mud floor huts, it lacks the personal voice of the Romany and their experience of this internment.

As a child my Father recalls this time fondly, remembering how enjoyable it was to be with other children his age, he speaks of one time when toys were donated to the camp, and the children could have their pick of what was in the wardens back yard. But on reflection, when he starts to explain how they lived, and where the camp was situated it became obvious he hadn’t considered how terrible the living conditions were, and how wrong it was for the government to decide this way of life was better.

The negative effects of forcing Romany into a sedentary lifestyle far outweighed any perceived rightness of the act. The work families relied on to feed their children dried up, with so many with the same skill set stuck in once place, this caused many to think creatively to provide for their families. For my Father, being a young boy, the reality of the situation was hidden from him, my Grandparents worked hard to conceal how hard this new way of life was. They did their best to ensure that their children felt safe and secure, while the reality was a stark contrast.

Animated change

After cobbling together my 30-second sequence from my Dad’s story, I worked first on the sound design. I have learned over the years the this is an aspect of my work that I have neglected. With my Dad’s story being the central point I wanted to place the most importance on what the viewer will hear. It is from here that I launched my ideation of the look and feel. I knew that I wanted to use 3d animation, but not in a conventional way. I want my film to tactile, and grungy in a way that reflects the ex-prisoner of war camp my family were moved to. I want to capture the despair of having autonomy over your life taken from you, while also capturing the closeness of family ties.

Rubbish Dump Gypsy Character ideation
Rubbish Dump Gypsy character ideation

It was fairly obvious to me, that from this point on that I could not rely on any of the 3D character rigs I have available to me. (both paid and free rigs) I need my animation to maintain its authenticity, and to do this I will need to create all the characters within it. Above is the first iteration of my Romany family, based on photos of family members. to capture this textural landscape I want all the characters to have the feel of a hand made toy, something that Romany children might have made and played with.

Faceless doll inspiration

Faceless Doll Ideas
Faceless Doll Ideas 

I am investigating the idea of dolls without faces, my reasoning for my characters in this sequence having no mouth is symbolic of having their voice taken away from them. These travelling families had no choice but to move into the camps. The government worked systematically to close down stopping places until they were all funnelled into the same camps. There was no way for them to speak out against how unjust this was. Couple this with the general distant and mistrust of travellers they genuinely had no voice to counter the argument for the sedentary mandate. (I need to confer with my research and add some linking academic papers) The representation of Romany and Travellers still very present today, in social media, news media, entertainment, academia, and in our own homes. There is even misunderstanding within my own race, which is bound to happen when we have all be labelled under one umbrella term, despite our diverse histories which is why my characterisation here is so important.

I am looking at the history of dolls such as the Waldorf Doll, The Haudenosaunee ‘No  Face doll’, Hayao Miyazaki animated character Kanoshi (No face) from Spirited Away, and Motanka, Traditional Ukrainian Doll as a foundation for my own no face doll.


From this, I have created my first character, Little John. This is the first iteration, I have run into several issues along the way, and with each version have created something closer to what I have visioned in my head. I have used a combination of Maya to create the base mesh, and Zbrush to create the textural detail. Using a combination of bump and displacement maps I can convey a layered, and complex character, that feels real, in the medium of 3D.

Little John character sheet
Little John character sheet
Beef Eater Character Sheet
Beef Eater Character Sheet
Beefy 3D character
Beefy 3D character
Beefy and LJ 3d Character
Beefy and LJ 3d Character
LJ 3D character
LJ 3D character
LJ 3D character
LJ 3D character
LJ, Beefy and Vardo 3D Character
LJ, Beefy and Vardo 3D Character
LJ, Beefy and Vardo 3D Character
LJ, Beefy and Vardo 3D Character
Beefy 3D character
Beefy 3D character
Beefy 3D character
Beefy 3D character
LJ wip
LJ wip
LJ wip
LJ wip
LJ wip
LJ wip


I still have a lot of characters to design and create, but seeing these first two have really filled me with joy and a renewed sense of purpose. I decided on reflection of my first iteration to include eyes with my Romany travellers. They are silent observers of what was happening to them. This was also an aesthetic choice, as having no ideas left me with an underlying sense of dread.

At this stage, I am working on rigging them with Rapid Rig, and ensuring I can animate them in a way that conveys the emotion that this piece needs.  I’ll be back later to upload some animation tests. Below is the first test from Beefy before I changed the rigging structure. The new rig means I have greater control over this body, and means I can also animate this hat.



Acton, Thomas A. ‘Scientific Racism, Popular Racism and the Discourse of the Gypsy Lore Society’. Ethnic & Racial Studies 39, no. 7 (June 2016): 1187–1204.

Mastering Anxiety

I am in a stage where anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I still feel like the way forward is foggy, I am not sure what direction my story will take. Following this line of thought, I am considering reassessing my take on applying for ethics. I believe it would be valuable for me to conduct a survey of sorts of New Zealanders, asking for information surrounding their perception of Gypsy/Romany culture.

It has come to my attention that there is a faction in New Zealand who consider themselves activists and are seeking greater clarification surrounding Rom rights, especially in regards to those claiming this right when freedom camping.

I also would like to examine symbolism, and what kinds of thoughts come to mind when you ask your every day New Zealander what they associate with Gypsy/Romany culture. I believe that the information gathered from this data will assist me with the curation of images for my animation.

My own ‘gypsyiness’

I have a lot of different thoughts and ideas whirling around my head. I really want to create something poignant, and powerful, but I am at a point with my research where I’m not sure what direction to take, so I am just working to create content for every idea that fly through my brain.

I want to communicate how it feels for me to be Romany, and kiwi, and Gorjio. That I never felt quite Gypsy enough to fit in with my Romany family, and never quite Gora enough to fit in with the kids at the school I went too. And then slide this into how I feel now, trying to own my ethnicity, but still feeling like a fraud. How much discrimination can I claim at this point in my life? How much disadvantage has it put me at?

When I was a teenager at high school in New Zealand there were girls who made fun of me, called me a Gypsy Witch, even dramatically throwing themselves into lockers to ‘get-away’ from me and my supposed curses.

But now, at 40, I can’t say my Gypsyiness has disadvantaged me because I really don’t have much left. If I had much, to begin with. My Dad moved us away from his family, and the stigma that went hand in hand with being a traveller. But with that move and gain of the white privilege, my skin gives me, I’ve lost the chance to learn the Romany language, and be part of the travelling community, in a way that popping in once a week on a Sunday never afforded us.

I’m same/same/different on both sides of the fence. And the fence does exist, as surely as the gatekeepers stand at the border and keep a mental tally to who has the right to claim themselves Gypsy, Traveller, Romany.

Romany Representation

2nd March 2020

I’m working through some ideas that are trapped in my head. Here’s one on Romany representation. I’m off to bed, but next up: kiwi head? ??‍♀️ ?

I had an idea while at the gym, that I could work on the 3D head I started in 2017, and use it to act out a narrative surrounding representation. Maybe trying on different versions of representations of identity. Such as, what does it mean to be a kiwi, what does it mean to be Romany, what kinds of things do you think of when you hear certain words in relation to ethnicity.

Masters Research – On other work

Week 2
Monday 2nd March 2020

Today I watched several animations on the platform Kanopy. these were the 2018 animated documentary Rezo, Four Flims by Robert Ascher (1986) and Dear Janice, an infinite animation by Adam Beckett (1974).


Director: Levan Gabriadze
Writers: Revaz Gabriadze (story), Revaz Gabriadze

This is an autobiographical animated documentary narrated, and illustrated by Rezo Gabriadze, a Georgian artist, writer, and creator or a Marionette theatre.

this documentary, which is subtitled deals with idealisation surrounding humanity, and kindness during the hard times after world war 2.

It is beautifully illustrated with a sketchy ink, and watercolour style that acts out the story told by the narrator. It has fantastic use of sound, which fills in a lot of the basic animation style. Although animated with a simple 2d side scroller style it conveys well and draws the viewer into the story.

The editing flows well between the animated narration and the live-action of the narrator.

Four Films by Robert Asher
Robert Ascher
colour, 21 min, 1986

Collection of animations by Robert Ascher, these animations use the technique of drawing and painting directly onto the 35 mm film. This put me in the mind of Len Lye, which I think (I’ll have to check) is around the same time frame that he was creating this style of animation.

Dear Janice
The Infinite Animator, Adam Beckett 1974

I found Adam’s work while surfing Kanopy. He was an animator that was said to be full of promise when he was tragically died young. I find myself facinated with his animations loops, and the creative use of using a sketchy feel, with organic repeating shapes. His peice Dear Janice put me in mind of the notes my friends and I would pass during class, and the feeling of his work made me jot down words like childlike, lust, wonder, hopeful, expermental, lots of boobs, teenage boyee (in relation to the hearts sliding into boobs)

It had a rather chaotic kalidosope effect which I found a lot more intresting that I orginally thought when I first hit play.

Buzz words and animated practice

Week 1

This week marked my first supervision meeting with Greg, and the completion of my first draft of my ethics application. During this meeting we discussed the different options going forward with my ethics consideration and that before my next meeting I will have the first draft of my narrative that will drive my animated documentary forward.

Over the past few weeks, I have spent some time thinking about just what my project will look like. While my main intent is to create a piece that explores the identity of New Zealand Romany, my Master’s focus is a personal journal, and my final animated documentary will reflect this.

An issue that I keep running into is maintaining a narrow path for my research to follow. I naturally want to fly down roads that open the scope up to a PhD level amount of work, so keeping this in mind, I am focusing on 3 to 4 in-depth interview with willing participants of the Romany community.

To reach these participants I will distribute an online survey via survey monkey, in which I will give them the information regarding what my project is about, ask about their connection to being Romany, and if they would be willing to have a discussion with me.

I do not intend to include what they say in my final work, but rather how what I learned has shaped my own thinking.

During the break, I worked on some different animation techniques. I still haven’t come up with the look and feel of my animation, so currently I am still practising. I do really enjoy Chuck Jones’ The Dot and the Line, and how the animation flows easily from one scene to the next. I’ve placed it below so those reading this can see what I mean.

My own hand-drawn animation isn’t anywhere near as good as Chuck’s, so I will be considering how I can create something like this with my own limited skill.

Below are some of the animations I have been practising with.

Some other ideas I have been playing with is the concept of somehow incorporating traditional Romany art styles, like the painted wagons, or the rag carpets that my own Granny taught me to make. Romany heritage is a hodgepodge of cultures, much like how offcuts from rags and be bought together to create something beautiful.

I need to pick one theme to weave though my narrative, a metaphor of sorts, I’m not quite sure what this will be yet, but this overarching story is starting to take shape in the peripheral.

Below are some ‘buzz’ words that strike a chord with me, are threads I want to keep my mind as I pull my story together.

“Tactile, Rug, patchwork, DNA, Sum of all our parts”